Chris Brogan wrote an article quite a few months ago which could have come from my head, almost word for word. In fact, it could have come from the heads of a lot of people I speak to, all of who seem to feel the same about time.
For some reason, time seems to have sped up. It’s sped up because the last few years have seen our time to respond, reply and converse has shrunk down to almost nothing. And as ‘real time’ internet becomes the norm, I fear that this is going to get worse, unless, as Chris says, we redefine our boundaries.
I know I often have to remind myself, but I have a choice in my life. I can choose whether to get stressed by the apparently never ending demands. I can choose whether to let people demand things from me at all hours of the day and during my personal time on the weekends. I can choose whether I open up one of the websites or tools I use, or whether to give myself a break. And I can choose where to draw the line between my work time and my personal time. We all have that choice and we all have to take responsibility for making that choice.
The important thing is to manage people’s expectations. That may be by:
- telling your business associates that you don’t open your email on the weekend.
- setting times between which you will have Twitter opened.
- turning your mobile phone off after you have finished work in the evening.
- leaving your laptop or Blackberry at home when you take a weekend away
- allocating times and days for particular online networking sites
Trust me, you can do these things and the world won’t end. In fact, you may find that it is a lot easier to take control of time if you do. The only real reason I have found that people become demanding is that I allow them to. If I tell them I am not available, the majority will respect that are are more than happy to wait until the next morning or after the weekend. Don’t forget, they are probably just as stressed as you are.
I did it when I went back to Australia last year. For the first week and a half of my holiday I was checking email every day. I was responding, calling back to the UK, answering calls and checking websites. My family, who I had flown 12,000 miles to see were a little bemused by my distraction. In the final week and a half, I made a decision to have a break and to spend some quality time with my parents and brother. I had a wonderful few days, flew back to the UK and managed to clear my email and deal with everything I needed to in a day after I got back to the office. One day sacrificed for 10 days which I will never get the chance to repeat again. It was worth it.
The important thing about setting your own boundaries is that they allow you to keep your priorities in mind. The people around you won’t always be there. Your children won’t always be children, your parents won’t always be around. There is nothing more irritating or disappointing to any of us than someone spending time with you but only being half there, because the rest of the time they are on their mobile or their Blackberry or their laptop. It is a false economy – it isn’t saving time, it is losing relationships.
Set your boundaries. Focus on your priorities. Put the time in that you need to your online activities and then turn off the PC. Believe it or not, you have the power to slow the clock down.
Thank you to sunnyuk for the image
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