I always find Jonathan Fields’ blog entertaining. He has some really astute observations of life, many of which filter into business as much as personal life. What with the internet hoo-ha recently about Google induced ADD, I found Jonathan’s article on Social Multitasking particularly relevant. Jonathan explores how frustrating and hurtful it is when someone is supposedly listening to you but they are actually miles away (and ironically enough, if faced they often say ‘no, I was listening’ but irrespective, the fact they were looking around the room or tapping at a PC while you were talking still makes you feel as if you weren’t important enough to receive their full attention). He also says that if people are doing it to you, chances are you are probably doing it to others as well, and he suggests taking the time to become conscious of it – and do something about it.
I can see this happening online as well – sometimes even more so – and in a fashion which is equally as damaging. With so many things clamouring for our attention online, so many different communities to be a part of and so many people to talk to, it is very easy to let your attention slip, and end up upsetting everyone.
This manifests itself in two ways that I have noticed.
The first is that you begin to fade away as the community begins to lose its shininess. You start off with a new site or a new blog, but after a couple of weeks or months, you stop paying attention to comments, or you can’t find the time to add more content, or another site or community begins to take up your time. The effort you may have spent building relationships goes right out the window as people commenting get frustrated at your lack of interaction, or simply go somewhere else in disgust. One of the worst examples I saw of this was on a discussion forum. A member, who had received some criticism for an offline service, came to the forum to write a single post defending himself and then stating that ‘if anyone had any questions or wanted to have a conversation with him, he would be happy to talk’. There followed three pages of questions and queries, but the initial member never came back to the forum. Naturally, as the comments went on, they got angrier and angrier. The member simply hadn’t bothered to give enough attention.
The second way this manifests itself is in the actual interactions. As I discussed in podcast #3, in many people’s eagerness to be seen to comment on blogs or be a part of the conversation, they don’t give enough attention to what the conversation was about or what other people had contributed. It generally becomes obvious when someone comments on a blog post, repeating almost exactly what an earlier commenter had said. It’s clear the commenter hadn’t given enough attention to the conversation preceding his contribution. A worse case I have seen is where the commenter had so completely missed the point of the original blog post, one wondered whether they had even read it, or just scanned the title and commented. The least you can do is give enough attention to what has been said in the first instance.
Just as this modern day malady causes annoyance or upset offline, so it does online. If you really want to establish good relationships, then you have to offer something in return.
And that something needs to be your undivided attention to the person before you.
Thank you to Frederique in NZ for the image
If you like this post, why not subscribe to our RSS Feed. Or you can visit our main website at Tiger Two or follow me on Twitter or Friendfeed
